Stalking someone is really the worst and pathetic way to get heartache. Really.

You know what's hard about loving someone too much than you should have? That when they already get over you, you won't get over them. You just simply won't. I'm seriously stupid. I don't know why I'm wasting my time thinking about him, worrying about him, love him, and.. hoping for him.

Hoping for him when I know he would never be mine. Ever. And he would never love me like he said. He will never care about me the way I care about him. And I wonder why? Why do I bother caring about him? Why do I bother thinking about him, worrying about him, and why do I bother fall in love with him? Why do I bother trying to be perfect in front of him. Why I bother trying to be the girl he likes. And all my efforts gone to waste. Fucking piece of shit never understand that I'm the best for him.

Unrequited love really is the most painful thing that could ever happen to someone. And the worst part is that when you met someone new, you'll always compare them to him and when they're not nearly as good enough as him, you'll just simply lost interest. Why is that?

I can't blame anyone for falling in love. I can't blame gravity, or fate, or God, or him. The only one I can blame is myself for being so stupid to fall in love with that douchebag piece of shit. Douchebag piece of shit that I love very much. The only one I can blame is my heart.

The thing about heart is that it can't be changed that easily. I always wondered why wasn't I born as a heartless bitch instead of whatever I am? And I wondered why just because one person. One person that ruined my head and heart.

He reek the smell of trouble since the day I met him. I know how things would turn up yet I can't help myself to be... tempted. Tempted by him, tempted by his sweet words and romantic actions. Now that it all happened, I can't stop blaming myself. And I can't blame him, as I said before. Why not? I'm the one who falls into the spider's web. And I can't get out.

I know I will. Eventually. But now I'm still pathetically trapped with no instant way out. But I know when I'm out, I'll have the sweetest revenge anyone could imagine. I swear.

One day you're gonna want her. That girl that knew she wan't perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can't bring herself to hate you, even though you probably deserve it (and trust me, you really do). The girl that should have you, but doesn't. And that girl, is me.

You will. I'll make sure of it.

One thing, people. One message for all of you who haven't feel unrequited love. Don't trust your heart. It's stupid as fuck. Look where it got me.