So, I had a major flashback. Well, not really major. That was exaggerating.
It all begins when I had an amazing idea to reorganize my closet to fit more space for my makeup and I opened my drawer, thinking of emptying them so I can put all my makeup in there. Apparently, it's a good and a bad idea. I stumbled upon a letter from one of my EXs.
You know, for a person like me who's easily like someone and easily getting bored of them, I naturally had few EXs and a bunch of guys who got close to me but somehow it's not working out because I easily got bored or I feel like they're bringing bad influence to me. But once I fall, my friend, I fall deep. And there were only 2 people I ever loved so much in my relationship history.
One of them is now one of my best friends. He's still one of my favorite boys and actually, I just came home from hanging out with him and another one of my best friends since childhood (and also my ex). We still hang out and talk a lot, he still laughs at me and I still talk shit at him like we used to, but with a less romantic feeling. He was also my first love, the one I loved the most in my life, my worst heartbreak, and the one who taught me what loving someone with all your heart feels like.
The other one is the one who sent me the letter. I remember very vividly that we were very much in love. I love him as much as I loved my first love, but it's not working out. Distance is not an easy thing. We met once, and we dated for around 8 months. It was something, he was something. He understood me, listened to me, respected me, paid attention to me, and he thought the world of me. I remember how it feels loving him, I remember seeing beautiful flowers and how it reminds me of him. I remember missing him and how I can imagine his arms around me. I remember every laugh and smile he brought to me. And I'm glad that I experienced them. I think until this point I'm still in love with him, I don't think I ever stopped either.
How long has it been since the last time I hold someone's hand? How long has it been since the last time I hugged someone? How long has it been since I can bury my face in the neck of someone I love?
Right. Years. Many years ago.
But then, everything's beautiful in its own time, right?
With love,
Theresa.
