with love, Theresa.

The human mind is an amazing thing, really. One day you're thinking everything is going to be okay and that your life is going forward amazingly, and the next day you're thinking why is everything spiraling downwards. I never really thought things are always going to be okay, no, but I never thought one day outta nowhere I would suddenly feel so empty and dissatisfied by everything going on in my life.

"if i killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the Earth will still rotate, the seasons will still change.. so, why not?"

of course not.

do not tell me you never think about how your two best friends would stare blankly at your usual spot in your seat, thinking that it was so quiet without you and there will be no one to make snarky comments anymore and how the hell did they missed it.

do not tell me  you didn't think about your other best friend who you tell everything to would not blame himself and feel guilty because he should've known something was wrong with you.

do not tell me you never think about how your parents would wonder what the hell happened, why did they little girl do it, and having to bring you back from the hospital in a casket instead of in their arms.

do not tell me you never think about how your older brothers would wonder if they were too hard on you, wondering if they were too ignorant of their only little sister, and thinking about those times they held you when you were a baby.

do not tell me you never think about how your nephew and nieces won't understand what happened and they just wondered why did you go away and never came back.

do not tell me your old basketball teammates would not be surprised and each time they passed your old court they did not think about your laugh and all victories and loses and all the things you achieved together in that place.

do not tell me your high school friends and teacher won't shed a tear knowing one of the happiest person they know turns out was the saddest and alone all along and wondering if there was something they could've done.

do not tell me the nice boy you have a crush on would not feel a little bit guilty and wonder if he was one of the reason you did it.

do not tell me how your social media friends won't feel sad and regret not reaching out to you and asking how you were doing because they thought your absence from your account was just due to busy and hectic schedules of college.

do not tell me that your dog didn't wonder about why the person who gave him the most love and belly rubs didn't come home anymore for years.

do not fucking tell me these bullshit about these stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the Earth will still rotate, and the seasons will still change because without you, none of these people would want any of that to happen.

So, I had a major flashback. Well, not really major. That was exaggerating. 

It all begins when I had an amazing idea to reorganize my closet to fit more space for my makeup and I opened my drawer, thinking of emptying them so I can put all my makeup in there. Apparently, it's a good and a bad idea. I stumbled upon a letter from one of my EXs.

You know, for a person like me who's easily like someone and easily getting bored of them, I naturally had few EXs and a bunch of guys who got close to me but somehow it's not working out because I easily got bored or I feel like they're bringing bad influence to me. But once I fall, my friend, I fall deep. And there were only 2 people I ever loved so much in my relationship history.

One of them is now one of my best friends. He's still one of my favorite boys and actually, I just came home from hanging out with him and another one of my best friends since childhood (and also my ex). We still hang out and talk a lot, he still laughs at me and I still talk shit at him like we used to, but with a less romantic feeling. He was also my first love, the one I loved the most in my life, my worst heartbreak, and the one who taught me what loving someone with all your heart feels like.

The other one is the one who sent me the letter. I remember very vividly that we were very much in love. I love him as much as I loved my first love, but it's not working out. Distance is not an easy thing. We met once, and we dated for around 8 months. It was something, he was something. He understood me, listened to me, respected me, paid attention to me, and he thought the world of me. I remember how it feels loving him, I remember seeing beautiful flowers and how it reminds me of him. I remember missing him and how I can imagine his arms around me. I remember every laugh and smile he brought to me. And I'm glad that I experienced them. I think until this point I'm still in love with him, I don't think I ever stopped either.

How long has it been since the last time I hold someone's hand? How long has it been since the last time I hugged someone? How long has it been since I can bury my face in the neck of someone I love?

Right. Years. Many years ago.

But then, everything's beautiful in its own time, right?

With love,

Theresa.

Look of the day!

Sensibio H2O Micellar Water.

Sensible Tonic

Hydrabio Serum Moisturizing Concentrate

Sensibio Light Soothing Cream

Photoderm Max SPF 100

SO. My wish do came true and I do get into the regionals for basketball. and it

was

A W E S O M E .

It was like 3 months ago but Idk I don't really have time to write anything anymore because of my grades. Oh my God, my grades. They're like seriously low I went down three rank!!! Though I wasn't so bad on my finals because I didn't fail any, I just need to do some assignments that I missed because of the period of time I was absent and didn't do my schoolwork.

here's some pictures!!

Girls & Boys Basketball Team

Well, that's all for now. See you people soon!